Changing Lives One Conversation At A Time

I didn't set out to become a coach. Coaching found me at a time when I needed it most.

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I had built a successful career in advertising sales at a Fortune 100 global media and technology company. I loved my clients. I loved the work. I loved the people I worked with every day. From the outside there was every reason to keep doing exactly what I was doing.

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But I felt something was missing, and I couldn’t name it.

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I wanted to grow. When I asked several leaders whom I respected and looked up to, what I could do to continue to evolve with the company, I heard variations of a theme …  Keep doing what you're doing.

Hearing this broke my heart.

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A friend suggested I talk with his professional coach. I wasn't convinced. I didn’t know what a coach was. I had a manager. I had mentors. Why would I need a coach?

Eventually, I decided to find out.

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I began working with my coach by telephone; this was before virtual meetings became a thing. I was in Chicago. He was in Boulder. Over the next few years he came to know me deeply. During one of our conversations early on, he asked me what I wanted to do next.

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I gave him the answer I knew how to give. I said I was going to update my résumé and pursue another opportunity in the industry.

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He stopped me.

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“That's what you know how to do. But what do you really, really, really want to do?”

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I didn't have an answer.

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But suddenly, I had a much better question.

That question began a process that wasn't always easy. That question stopped me in my tracks.

I started reflecting beyond what I was good at, and what mattered to me. With the support of my husband, I eventually made the difficult decision to leave a successful career because I recognized something I hadn't known how to say before … I wasn't fulfilled.

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Then another conversation changed everything.

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I reached out to someone at my company who had made an impact on me. My intention was simply to thank him and share what I had learned from him.

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He asked me, “What are your aspirations?”  What a big word I thought. I told him I was working with a professional coach to help me get clear on what I wanted to do next. I told him I knew there was something more for me. I just didn’t know what it was yet.

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He told me that our company was piloting a coaching program and he was in the hiring process. The company would be sending these new hires to be professionally trained.

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I returned to our company in an entirely new capacity and began my professional coach training. In 2016, I became a certified coach through the same coaching institute where, in an extraordinary full-circle moment, my own coach had trained.

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The experience changed me from the inside out.

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I learned firsthand that powerful coaching isn't about having all the answers. Sometimes it's about slowing down long enough to listen. Asking the question no one else has asked. Challenging someone's thinking. Creating space for another person to see something they couldn't see before and trusting them to decide what to do with that insight.

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That's the experience I want to create for the leaders I coach.

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Because leadership isn't only about knowing what to do or telling others how to do it. The best leaders also know how to listen, ask, challenge, encourage and develop the people around them.

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Sometimes a conversation changes how we see ourselves.

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Sometimes a question changes what we believe is possible.

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And sometimes we experience an AHHa moment that changes what we do next.

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I know because one changed my life.